March 11 Lord, I Believe, Except When I Don’t

Mark 9:23-24

I was finishing a graduate degree and my part-time salary (the financial support for my family) was going to end. I had a wife, two children, and a third child on the way, and no prospects. Back in the spring, I had learned of a temporary job in Texas that was perfect, but I wasn’t going to finish until later in the fall, and so I couldn’t take the job. Surely someone else would fill the position before summer. And now, several months later, I’m needing a job, and there didn’t seem to be any in my field. What was I to do? I wanted to be faithful and trust God and not worry. But it was hard. I don’t think I did very well at it, although I prayed He would help me actually believe that He would take care of my family and me. For several weeks – nothing. It was getting closer to my end date at school.

One week before my dissertation defense, my advisor received a phone call from the scientist in Texas. The job had not been filled, he said, and was Lindsey still available and interested?  The relief I had was great – now I had a future, an income to support my growing family, and training and education that could be used.

Many times, big and small, I find myself either facing doubt or trusting in His promises. And I seem to do both! So I thank God for the trust He gives me and ask for forgiveness for the doubts.

Prayer: Dear Father, when I am tempted to doubt, remind me by Your Spirit
that You promised to never leave me or forsake me, and that I am worth much in Your sight.
You know what I need and are more than capable of supplying it.
In whatever I am striving to do, help me not worry
so that I can do the work with confidence. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Feb 21 When I Am Helpless, Then I’m Okay

  Matthew 18:3 

    Many years ago, I locked myself out of my apartment. I quickly realized there was nothing I could do to get in, and (believe me or not) I was calm. I eventually did get in, but, in the meantime, I wasn’t uptight about it. One way or the other, it was going to work out, so there was no need to fret.

How I wish I had that attitude in all things! For I find that, if I think there is anything I can do about a situation, no matter how small, then I do worry about it. And one way or another, 

Why, I wonder, am I at peace when I know I have absolutely no control over something? That seems backwards. And yet, isn’t that what God gives us in His saving of us?  If you insist that you want to work it out, okay then, but just remember – you have to be perfect. And when it becomes clear I can’t meet perfection, I can receive God’s gift of salvation with calm, like a child. What a gift that is, as well! I can spare myself the fears of whether I am doing enough, trying hard enough, or being sincere enough. I can spare myself the dilemma of wondering whether I am deceiving myself in thinking I’m doing these things for the right reasons. He did it all, for me – I can definitely live with that.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, You take away the need for us to save ourselves
 because You have already saved us. May we believe You. Amen.